Reality
by Blonde Spirit
Summary: Charlie Weasley Challenge Response from HPFF forums. Charlie needs to get back to reality, and soon. Sexual references and laungauge better suited to adults!
1. Chapter 1

**Reality**

_This is in response to The Charlie Weasley challenge on HPFF challenges forum. I created an OC in another challenge response that I've used for this challenge too._

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I sat for a long time, I'd read every sodding magazine in the building. I'd re read every book I owned, which were about Quidditch or Dragons. I'd talked to every member of my family about everything but what had happened, I was sick and tired of the sighs and veiled looks. I was going back.

I knew that the announcement that I was going back to Romania would simply freak everyone out, especially mum, I considered taking her to St Mungo's to tell her, so they could revive her when she collapsed from hyperventilating. I didn't know how I was going to tell them all, I had a fair idea of the reactions. Mum would probably confound me so I couldn't go. Dad would look worried and chew his already non existent nails even further. Bill, well he'd do the older brother talk thing, rather like the one he'd made me sit through when he brought me home, battered and burnt from Romania. Percy was a non starter; he'd probably come up with a load of statistics about Dragons and death, and then shrug and say it was my life. The twins would probably bring some light relief from the doom and gloom, demanding to hear the story behind my injuries again, and generally acting like well, the twins. Ron, now he would go one of two ways, he'd either shout and sulk or ignore the fact completely and I expected Ginny's reaction to be rather like my mothers. Ginny had barely left my bedside since Bill had half carried; half dragged me back into the Burrow. Her and mum had fought endlessly over who could tend to me, bring me soup and spread the horrible gunk prescribed by the Mediwitch, on my cuts and burns.

Then there was the reaction of those back in Romania, Rute, my best mate over there was the only one who knew I wanted to go back and start working again, but even he didn't know the true reasons why. We'd written via owl several times when I'd been able to hold a pen again, and he'd been as Rute generally was, outspoken to the point of downright rude. When I'd written that I wanted to come back to the Reserve and continue working with Dragons, he'd asked me, and I quote 'Why the fuck would you do that?' I pondered his question again, as I had done hundreds of times since I received his letter. I'd told Rute that I needed to get back to my life, that there was nothing here really for me, this was my childhood home, I was an adult and I needed to get back to the niche that I'd carved for myself in Romania. What I didn't tell him was that I needed to get back to Rosie, even Rute with his open minded attitude, would think I'd lost the plot and needed to be committed as a mental patient there and then.

If I told my family the real reason I wanted to go back, they would certainly tie me to the bed and incapacitate me in every way possible, but I had to go, she was there and I had to work this out, I had to try and make it right again.

I pulled out the parchment I kept under my bed and started to write again, I knew deep down that Rosie probably wouldn't get this, that she'd never read what I wrote to her but I had to try. Just like I had to go back to Romania and find her and sort this mess out.

_Rosie,_

_Mum is still driving me mad, I'm almost healed but I'm barely allowed out of bed. I'm sure you can imagine, I've told you enough about what she's like haven't I? The big scar on my chest is doing well, with that gunk the Mediwitch forced on me, tell me, why do you healers insist that the most disgusting stuff works the best? It's like having vomit on my chest twice a day._

_I love you and I miss you and I'll be back soon._

_Charlie _

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"ARTHUR!" my ears were still sensitive from the damage they had sustained and my mothers screech had just reminded me of such.

"Merlin Mum!" I protested.

She merely glared at me from across the kitchen table as Dad appeared in the doorway, looking flustered and tired as usual.

"Have you heard this nonsense?" she demanded, without giving him chance to answer she ploughed on "Romania, he's going back! He shouldn't be out of bed yet, but here he is, telling me he's going back to work with those _things_ and I'm supposed to let him?!"

"Molly…." Dad started to be shouted down again.

"I mean what in the name of Merlin is he thinking? He's only nineteen, only been in the job two years, it's not like he's in a life long career. Can't you get him a job at the Ministry with you? The creatures department?" I opened my mouth as she paused for breath, but got cut off by another wave of motherly hysteria "Well, you could, couldn't you Arthur? Or he could work at Gringotts with Bill; he's always been good with spells. No, there's no need for him to go back to Romania and those flaming Dragons!" It seemed the pun she had unintentionally said went unnoticed by both of them, I waited a spilt second to ensure she'd finished this time and said my piece.

"I am here you know" I said, but she continued to gaze at Dad, and he continued to mouth without actually speaking. Something he did when he was cornered and didn't know what to say. A trait that I hadn't noticed that he had until Rosie had pointed out that I had it too. That every time she managed to corner me with something I did exactly what Dad was doing now. Rosie laughed when I did it; it diffused what usually had the potential to be a major row with us into silly giggles, not so with Mum and Dad.

"I have a life in Romania" I said firmly "And I am an adult"

"A _life_?" Ah, seems she had finally realised I was here "Your life was nearly ended! Or have you forgotten?"

"Of course I haven't!" I snapped, Merlin, how could I? The scars were evident to see, and everything still hurt, the large scar on my chest felt itchy, the gouges out of my legs were healed, as were the bones beneath, yet the skin was still tight and bothered me. As for my face, the Mediwitch had managed to heal that without it scarring badly, but I knew they were there, and somehow they bothered me more than any of the other injuries. Not to mention the actual memories of the event, they were deeper than any other scars.

"Then why Charlie?" her shoulders slumped and she all but fell into a chair "Why would you go back there?"

"I didn't die, and now I have to go on, Dragons are the only thing I want to do, and Romania has the best selection and conditions of anywhere" and it has Rosie I silently added. If I voiced that there was no way I'd be going anywhere, they'd see to that.

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I wrote to Rosie again when I was finally allowed out of my parents sight, I could just imagine her response at me making Errol fly all that way as I'd sent my own owl over with my earlier letter. She felt sorry for the stupid old bird who always managed to somehow fly into anything stationary and would hurt, and she'd be a bit annoyed that I hadn't waited for my own owl, Snitch (she teased me mercilessly about his name) to return.

_Hey,_

_Before you start Errol is fine to fly all this way, he might be getting on but he's reliable, sort of. I've told mum and dad I'm coming home tomorrow, I'm fine to floo now, all the scars are just about healed, but Mum hit the roof as predicted. She'll get over it, but I'm not going to hang around and wait until she does, so I'll be back late tomorrow. Merlin I miss you, it seems like forever since I last saw you._

_Love you_

_Charlie._

I watched Errol fly off into the distance, narrowly missing one of those metal pythons that muggles carry their elektricty on, stupid bird. I made my way back upstairs and packed the few things I had brought; or rather Bill had packed for me. I was sure he must have been drunk when he stopped by the hut to collect some stuff for me to come home with, I mean the t shirts he packed didn't even fit anymore and as my work robes had been burnt to a crisp, he'd brought my dress robes, and my old Hogwarts Quidditch robes, where in Heavens name did he think I would be going? Although I suppose he had been quite worried at the time, he'd told me that as they couldn't reach mum and dad, the reserve had contacted him through the bank, to say that I had been badly hurt and they needed a family member immediately. He'd come out straight away, and sat by my bed for two days until I was fit enough to travel back to England.

And now I was recovered and going back, back to work, back to my friends, and back to Rosie. At last I could sort this damn mess out, I knew that there was a chance that she wouldn't be there, she'd have gone, but as she wasn't here and I needed her, I had to try. I think even bill would have balked if I'd told him I was going back to her, he'd never understand, how could he? And I wasn't about to start explaining.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Reality **

I heaved my backpack back over my shoulder and prepared to apparate from Bucharest where the portkey had landed me, to the reserve. I realised maybe I wasn't as fit as I thought, I was knackered and everything ached. Momentarily I longed for my bed back at the Burrow and mum's warm presence, but I quickly put that out of my mind, I was here to get back to my real life.

I trudged up the lane that led to the Offices of the reserve, no one had seen me yet and I was oddly grateful. I'd had just about a gutful of the platitudes of others, looking hard at anywhere but my face, and then the shock when they did and saw nothing there but my features. Bill had told me my eyes were another story, that they showed everything. But he was a romantic old sap these days (a woman I strongly suspected) and I discounted his observations as nonsense, he'd always been more sensitive than me, wearing his heart slightly on his sleeve. I just wasn't like that, I'd not had the intense crushes on girls that he had. I'd fancied a few sure, but never got embroiled in the 'love' thing. It just wasn't my scene at all, I like women and I like sex, a lot, but didn't fall in love. Not until I met Rosie anyway, and it had taken a hell of a lot for me to admit that I had fallen for her.

The first clue should have been when I stopped dating other women. Rosie and I weren't exclusive at first, we both were enjoying the freedom of being away from parental or professor control and enjoyed the dating scene to it's full. We'd clicked right away, the first time we met over a steaming bed pan. That's actually not as bad as it sounds, honestly. I'd taken James, a rookie handler who had managed to fall from his broom in fright while we were subduing a Horntail, to the Medical Wing to be patched up. A healer was seeing to him and I got kicked out of the cubical, so I wandered off to find somewhere to have a quiet smoke. There were no smoking signs everywhere, even outside, so I had snuck into what I later found out was the sluice room, where bedpans were washed.

I'd been happily smoking away when the door opened and a healer in the green robes of a trainee had wandered in, holding a stack of bedpans. I moved behind an abandoned old screen, prepared to be caught as surely she would smell the smoke. Apparently not because she placed the bedpans in the huge sink and waved her wand, the water started and the bedpans started to be cleaned. The room quickly filled with steam and the healer's hair, already escaping from its bun, started to curl in the humidity. As I watched her I realised why she hadn't noticed the smell of smoke, this was obviously the place for an illicit fag as she took one out of her packet and fumbled with her lighter, dropping it. It scooted across the damp floor and landed right by my feet, oh shit I thought.

"Who are you?" she asked, staring at me with a mixture of annoyance and fear.

"Not your boss, if that's what you are worried about" I quipped, picking up her lighter and giving it back. The facial expression changed to full annoyance now.

"Then what are you doing lurking behind that screen?" she challenged, lighting her cigarette.

"Same as you I reckon" I grinned, noticing she was actually quite pretty, frizzy hair and stained green robes aside "I won't tell if you won't" I winked, turning the Weasley charm up a notch.

"Humph" she replied "I know your face"

"Sure you do, I'm in here a lot, work on the reserve, Charlie" I smiled, that was usually enough to disarm most women "Charlie Weasley"

"Oh yeah" she blew a stream of smoke at the ceiling "Super Stud"

"What?" I was a little dumbfounded, the insults usually came after the one night stand, it seemed my reputation had started to catch up with me and overtake.

"You shagged one of the girls on my ward, burns, and never came back for round two" she gave me a lopsided smile "She was quite cut up about it, seems she'd fancied you for ages"

"What's her name?" I tried to buy some time.

"Like you'd remember" she laughed "its ok you know, she's the bunny boiler type anyway"

I laughed too, she had me pegged alright, I probably wouldn't remember the girl's name, but bunny boiling, what the hell was that about?

"Bunny boiling?" I asked, I really wanted to know.

"It's from a muggle movie, the plot is a woman who falls for a married man and he can't get away from her when he wants to end it, she boils his kids rabbit on the stove to get his attention"

"I think that would work" I said, muggles have a strange idea about entertainment.

"It did" she paused to extract another cigarette, and I lit it for her, wanting to hear more "He shot her in the bath in the end"

"Sounds like quite a romance"

"You wanna be careful Super Stud" she cautioned "That could be you one day"

"I don't have a rabbit" I grinned again, I liked this girl, she was quirky, even though she did smell rather like the bedpans at the moment "Or a kid" I added as an afterthought.

She laughed again "Not that you know of"

"I'm very careful" I assured her, whilst trying not to notice that she had quite a nice chest under those God awful robes.

"I'm sure you are" she smiled back "Anyway, I'd better get back before I'm missed"

I watched her collect the now clean bedpans, and she turned back as she left the room "Nice to meet you Charlie Weasley" she said "Don't worry about bunny boiler, she's moved on to a Mediwizard already"

"Thanks" I said, moving to hold the door open for her "Do you know where I might watch this 'mover'" I asked "About the bunny boiler?"

"I think it's showing in the cinema in town" she shrugged "And it's a movie"

"Right" I said "Fancy showing me where?"

"Maybe" she shrugged and then smiled "As long as you don't get all needy and pathetic, I'm quite fond of Lugs"

"Lugs?" I was totally confused now.

"My rabbit" she shot over her shoulder as she wandered off. I laughed again, she definitely was weird, but good weird.

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I knocked on the office door, studying the name plate as I did so 'Karl Griffin – Site Manager' it read. The letters twinkled and glittered, seducing you into thinking that the man who had chosen this name plate might be a nice cuddly sort of person, the type who liked glitter and sparkles. I knew so different, Karl, or 'he who must be obeyed' as we called him, was in no way cuddly. The name plate was a gift from his eight year old niece, who visited often and threw a tantrum worthy of an angry dragon when it was removed, so it stayed.

"Enter!" came the response from within; I took a deep breath and went in.

"Weasley" Karl didn't even look up from his paper work "Nice of you to come back" The sarcasm wasn't lost on me at all. It was barely a month since I'd almost been skewered and barbequed yet Karl made it seem like I'd been on a jolly.

"Thank you sir" I said, because I didn't know what else to say.

"Are you fit to work?" he asked, actually it was more like a threat, should I dare to say no.

"Yessir" I replied "I have the all clear"

"Good" he sniffed "Report to your Team Leader in the morning and you can get back to it; we've kept your cabin open along with your job"

"Thank you sir" I replied, wondering if he was going to mention Rosie at all, he didn't. He just looked at me pointedly, for the first time since I entered, and I took that as my cue to leave, and did.

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I dumped my backpack on the nearest chair, and slumped onto the sofa. I was seriously worn out and hungry. The canteen would still be open but I didn't want to announce my arrival back so publicly, not yet. The cabin was a tip as usual. A kind of organised chaos, with clothes littering the floor and any available space. The bed was still unmade and the wardrobe doors flung open like someone was coming back real soon to shut them. I could have blamed Bill for that but I knew that I'd probably left the doors open the morning I'd left.

I surveyed the room, I'd hated it at first but now it was home. Everything cramped into one room, a double bed and wardrobe on one side in the pretence of a bedroom, and a sofa, two chairs and a coffee table on the other side. I wandered through to the bathroom, or rather the cupboard that had the gall to call itself a bathroom. The shower was over the bath, which was about three foot too short for a normal person, and the toilet and basin struggled for room against each other. A towel had been flung over the shower curtain rail and it shocked a memory from me that I wasn't prepared for at all.

"_Rosie!" I'd laughed as she tried to squeeze into the already tiny space in the bath "We won't both fit in here"_

"_Course we will, your wand is there, magic it bigger"_

"_I hope you are referring to the bath" I'd laughed again, and she laughed back. We laughed a lot. _

_She had settled between my legs and the water had slopped over the edge of the bath as I reached for my wand._

"_Actually" I drooped my wand and slid my hands over her sides "I quite like it like this" I'd nibbled her neck as she leaned back against me._

"_That's what I thought" she sighed._

_The bath had turned out too small in the end but the objective had been achieved anyway, we'd had to use a charm to dry the sheets on the bed after, but it had been worth it, it always was._

I sat on the edge of the bed and opened the drawer of the bedside cabinet, rummaging a while before I found it, the small velvet box. I lay down; staring at the box I'd not had the chance to give to Rosie yet and thought for a long time.

I heard the door open yet stayed where I was, I knew who it was and felt myself smile as she lowered herself onto the other side of the bed, bringing her face close to mine.

"Hey there Super Stud" she said.

"Bunny Boiler" I nodded, thinking that as cute lover nick names, ours aren't the best, but they are ours "About bloody time, I've waited ages for you"

"Sorry" she smiled and looked at the box "I love it by the way, although I did think you were going to, dum dum dum, propose when I found it" she laughed again, Merlin I'd missed that in England.

"Not bloody likely" I replied "When did you find it? I wanted it to be a surprise"

"Just after you bought it, but I wanted you to give it to me" she smiled again, touching the box. I opened it to reveal the necklace I'd blown a month's wages on, a tiny figure of a unicorn glittered as it tossed its golden head.

"I'm glad you like it" I said.

"My favourite animal, apart from Lugs of course" she replied, but something was wrong, I tried to pinpoint it and looked down at the necklace again. The lid was shut; I blinked, confused for a second and looked back to Rosie.

I realised that I'd had one of those dreams, one where you dream that you are awake and they are so real it takes a few moments to realise that you aren't. It made sense really, if Rosie walked in now and laid next to me, I'd have jumped on her instantly, I really missed her, and she wasn't there, I'd been dreaming again. But something dawned on me, Lugs! Her beloved rabbit, I wondered if he'd been ok.

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I went into her cabin, which was stuffy with the air of neglect. Not surprising since she more or less lived with me, I looked around for Lugs, it was obvious that Rosie wasn't here, nor had she been. The letters I had sent had been delivered dutifully, and were stacked next to the window, unopened. I avoided them, looking to see if the rabbit was still here, of course he wasn't. No matter what, she'd make sure Lugs ws taken care of, he was probably with one of her friends. I went back to my own cabin and tidied up a bit, putting her clothes together on the chair near the door, and mine in a heap to be washed. I decided that I'd better sleep before work, if I didn't want to get flambéed again. We'd see what tomorrow would bring; maybe she'd finally show up. Tomorrow I would hunt down Lugs, for some reason I missed that damn rabbit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Reality**

The amazing thing about my job is that the dragons never change, ever. They are highly unpredictable and moody creatures given to outbursts at the strangest things, and here was another one with that neurotic side alright. The Romanian Longhorn was probably the strangest dragon I'd met yet. I was sure she had cat in her somewhere because she hated water, and I mean truly _hated_ it. I noticed right then on my first day back because it rained and she went ballistic. She ran for cover into her cave as soon as the first drops started and stared balefully out at the sky. She made me smile, I'd never seen a dragon notice the rain before, never mind shelter from it. I read her bio that was attached to the fence of her enclosure, and it gave me some enlightenment. Fifi (really? I thought, now I was her keeper that really needed to change) had apparently belonged to a retired Dragonologist who lived in South America. He 'acquired' her as an egg and raised her himself. The man is question had been a huge authority on dragons and I was currently using one of his many books for research as I studied. Unfortunately whether from a lifetime with Dragons or being on his own so much, he got rather eccentric and decided that Fifi needed to stretch her wings and live naturally. With a muggle town nearby, Fifi had stumbled upon a supply of yummy humans to prey on for days. It had taken all the might of the Combined American Ministry for Magical Enterprise and Living,(CAMMEL) to a) capture and subdue Fifi and b) capture and subdue her owner and resolve the situation. Fifi had arrived here and her owner had been shipped off to some home for aged and slightly unbalanced wizards. It also shed light on why she hated the rain, apparently he'd made her a rug to keep her dry if she _had_ to go out in the rain, she'd probably never felt rain before she came here and word said that her cave had been better than most peoples houses. This was one prissy and spoilt bitch of a dragon. I liked her, a lot. But she gave me my first true flash back when she threw that almighty wobbler that afternoon.

I watched her for some time as she glared at the sky, sulking because she hated the rain, and because she was getting hungry. She had set off a couple of jets of indignant flame at the offending sky, making it known how annoyed she was that it _dared_ to rain on _her_. She cheered me somewhat until I fed her, and right then I was shot straight back to the nightmare that had started this whole chain of events. As I levitated the meat over the fence and through the magical ceiling, she paced her cave.

"Come on you stroppy cow" I said "If you wanna eat you're gonna get wet"

She roared and paced, frustrated that the sky didn't have the decency to stop raining so she could have her dinner. If she'd wanted to, she could have made a dash and dragged the food into the cave, but she didn't _want_ to, she wanted it to stop raining, and to have everything her own way. So eventually her hunger won over and she dashed over to the meat, tearing off great chunks as she huddled herself as low as possible. She was absolutely furious and I expected like most spoilt brats, she would eat and then go sulk again in her cave because she'd not got her own way. Boy was I wrong.

She suddenly exploded, flying at the enclosure fences, heedless of the shocks that they gave her. She breathed huge jets of fire at me as I stood rooted to the spot with fear. Yes fear, I was terrified. She had actually started to break through one area of the fence when I was suddenly pulled back roughly and several brooms took to the air, shooting stunning spells at her until she was finally unconscious on the floor.

"Charlie man for fucks sake!" Rute's voice invaded through the shock and I found myself staring up at him "Have you got a death wish?"

"What?" I was still stunned, transported back to the day I'd received those injuries, the day Rosie disappeared and the day it all went (as the twins would say) tits up.

"She was coming through that fence mate and you just stood there and watched her!" Rute was mad as hell, and really I couldn't blame him, twice now he'd nearly lost his best friend.

"I…" I couldn't seem to form the words at all "I just didn't…" fuck, sentences were no better.

"Seriously man" Rute demanded "Get a grip, if she'd got out she could have killed someone"

"I gotta go" I mumbled, jumping up and running back to my cabin.

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Why did I only tell her how I felt that day? That day when it all changed forever was the day I saw fit to tell her I loved her, I sat on the bed, still soaked from the rain and let the memories take over at last, something I'd fought so hard.

_We were lying in bed, she was reading and I was trying to get her attention, as usual._

"_Charlie behave!" she grumbled as I dug her in the ribs "I'm reading"_

"_Stop reading and give your attention to your needy and pathetic boyfriend" I'd demanded._

"_No" I'd smiled at this, she always set me up for a challenge._

"_Come on" I cajoled, snuggling up to her, Weasley charm on full throttle "Do you know what I have in mind?" most seductive voice and winning smile._

"_I'm sure I don't need three guesses" she replied dryly, but I could see the edges of her mouth twitch in a smile, she made a scene of putting the book down, sighing and rolling her eyes at me "Ok, you have my undivided attention"_

"_Don't want it now" I'd sulked, watching her out of the corner of my eye as she tried not to laugh._

"_I don't think so" she murmured and I don't think that I could have said no even if I had wanted to, she had me wrapped right around her finger and she knew it. For my part I wondered when that had happened, she was so self assured and confident she had the upper hand that I had to do something to shock her._

"_I love you" I said, knowing that despite the fact that I'd never fall in love, because it wasn't my thing, I had. It worked though, she was shocked alright "I haven't dated anyone else for months, in fact" I counted on my fingers, six "I've been dating only you for six months now, and I know you haven't seen anyone else because even if you had the time, you wouldn't have the energy"_

_For a moment I thought I'd gone too far, that the only time I'd ever 'put myself out there' (a Bill phrase) I'd been shot down rather quickly, but then she literally jumped on me. Bugger, and I thought I'd had the upper hand, like I said little finger, wrapped around. We had the most fantastic sex, kind of urgent and tender and something else altogether. _

_We didn't say anything for a long time after, just lay there, thinking. Eventually she spoke and I realised that she was saying back what I'd said, and just possibly that she was a bigger commitment-phobe than me._

"_You won't boil my rabbit will you?" _

"_Only if you dump me"_

"_I won't dump you then" she said with an air of decision "I like Lugs a lot, and I kinda like you too"_

"_Good, I like Lugs as well, I'd hate to have to make him into stew" I replied._

"_You won't" she smiled at me "I know me and Lugs are safe with you, like you are safe with us" and she'd kissed me._

_We'd laid in bed until the very last moment when she had to get ready for her shift at the Medical Wing, after she left I'd slept, soundly. Woken up rather rudely by Rute in his usual charming way._

"_Weasley, get the fuck up, that fucking lunatic Short Snout has gone ape shit, he's trying to shag the fence" _

"_Charming mouth you have there Rute" I grinned, leaping out of bed and pulling my clothes on. Thor, the 'Lunatic Short Snout' was getting out of hand. It was mating season and he had tried mating with everything from the rocks in his enclosure to the meat levitated over for his meals. Apparently now he'd started on the fence, and he was a wily one too, he'd already escaped once and mated with a Chinese Fireball who had been less than impressed, but seeing as he'd mated with the front end and not the back end, there would be no hideous cross breed egg to deal with thank Merlin. _

"_You got your leg over again didn't you?" Rute demanded icily "That stroppy healer"_

"_Of course" I'd boasted "Who else?"_

"_Who knows with you" he'd shrugged "You are either brave or stupid, she cursed Dunc right out the bar when he made a move on her"_

"_Dunc's a pratt" I shrugged._

"_So are you" Rute shrugged back as we ran towards the commotion on the other side of the reserve._

"_True, but she likes me" there was no more time for idle chat about women, we had work to do. _

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I forced myself back to reality, going over and over the past was not doing anyone any good at all. No me, not Rosie, not anyone. I had no idea where she was but I had the sudden urge that I needed to know, _now_. It frustrated me because I doubted that anyone would know where she was, or was even that interested. Everyone had known that we spent a lot of time together, but I don't even think Rute knew the extent of how felt. I could see it confused him that I had been so deeply affected because as far as he knew, Rosie was my 'friend with benefits' and I should be moving on by now. But i didn't want to move on, I needed to know where she was, that she was alright and that she did love me, that she hadn't just fobbed me off because she was feeling sorry for me.

I decided it was make or break right then, if I didn't get myself back out and deal with that stroppy witch of a dragon then I may as well pack up and go home now. I could easily get a job in the Ministry or the bank, bu thta wasn't what I wanted, I wanted to be here. True, I wanted to be here partly because I needed to try and sort the whole Rosie thing out, but I also needed the dragons. I'd always liked dragons better than girls anyway. They were more predictable, wanted less and gave more. Except Rosie, well to bloody hell with her! I thought, she left _me_. She didn't even see fit to let me know where she was and that she was ok, and now I was mad as hell. How could she do that to me? Leave me to suffer like this? I thought she loved me but maybe she didn't all along, if she couldn't even be bothered to try and get in touch, no matter how hard it would have been for her, the fuck her! She would manage wherever she was and I would manage here, on my own. I thought about going out and getting drunk, pulling some poor unsuspecting woman and trying to get Rosie out of my system, and decided against it. I had no idea why it should but a faint feeling of guilt, like I'd be cheating on Rosie, welled in the pit of my stomach when I thought of doing that. I supposed that would ease with time, so I went back out there and faced the dragons rather than the women. Who could blame me? I never expected to fall in love, didn't realise at all and then when I did it all went wrong anyway. Maybe that kind of life just wasn't for me as I'd always suspected, I'd be a happy batchelor, I knew that. I'm conceited enough to realise that women find me attractive, so I knew sex depravation wouldn't be a problem.

It wasn't like 'Oh No! I've had my heart broken and I can never love again!' not at all really, I knew I'd always love her, and if she walked through the door right now then I'd still be in love with her. I'd tried all that now, and it had gone wrong. I always thought that I just wasn't cut out for the wife and kids life anyway, that being with the dragons was what I wanted more than anything, and maybe if things had lasted with Rosie longer, I'd have been an awful life partner. I had no yearning for that side of life, it had sort of crept up and jumped on me, and now it had slunk back to whatever corner it came from. I knew that my life was here, with these dragons and I was fine with that now. I knew I had things to work through because I hated Rosie right now, for making me feel like that when I never expected to, and for snatching it all away so suddenly. But I'd get through the other side. I took the first steps out into the reserve again, determined to forget that she'd ever existed, that me, the guy who never would, had fallen in love.


	4. Chapter 4

**Reality.**

I sat staring into space, quite a common occurrence these days, thinking about things, Rute interrupted my thoughts in his customary way.

"Moping again, shit Charlie you gotta get over her" he'd thundered.

I fingered the necklace that I'd never gotten to give Rosie before answering "I know, I am, but I just need to know she's ok, wherever she is"

"She will be" he said resolutely "She's a coper, she'll be coping far better than you. I always thought you didn't go for this love stuff anyway"

I shrugged "I don't really; I'd be like this about anyone I cared for, even a foul mouthed pratt like you"

"She ain't coming back mate" he dropped down next to me, putting his large and calloused hand on my shoulder "This isn't the kind of job where you can have a wife and kids waiting at home for you Charlie, it doesn't work like that. You've seen it happen, guys who fall in love and do the whole family thing lose their edge, they can't give the job what it needs"

I looked at his hand, one day my hands would be like that. I had no intentions to run out and find a Rosie replacement, and I wasn't mad at her anymore, I still loved her but I just _needed to know_.

"She can't just be gone though Rute, she was so much more than a person, how can that just disappear?"

"She's dead Charlie, Thor escaping that day was a terrible thing, and we tried we really did, but he just took off, incinerating everything in his path"

"I know, I was there, remember?" I said bitterly, we sat a while, recollections of that awful day crowding in.

XXXXxxxx0000xxxxXXXX

When Rute and I had shown up Thor was through the barriers and three or four handlers were doing quite an adequate job of containing him to the space outside his enclosure, but not for long. Thor had smelt a cow dragon, on the opposite side of the reserve, she was in heat, and he wanted a bit, like now. He'd trashed everything in his path as he'd tried to get to her, which included part of the offices and the medical wing. Funnily enough at the time he ploughed through the medical wing, I didn't even think about Rosie. I can honestly say that I didn't throw myself in his path to save her life in the ultimate act of nobility; it was much simpler than that. He'd caught the end of my broom with his tail and spun me into his path, he went for me and I delivered the stunning spell at the same time. It all happened so fast but I had to stop him getting any further and I'd landed right in front of him. The curse hit and I'd been thrown about thirty feet by a swipe from him, good job he did that because I'd never have survived the fire jet he blew in my direction any closer. Rute had later told me that the stunning spell I cursed him with had weakened him enough for them to rope and restrain him, but not before he'd totally obliterated part of the medical wing. The sluice room to be precise, the sluice room where I'd met Rosie, and the sluice room where she had been washing bed pans and probably having a crafty cigarette when Thor destroyed it.

I didn't want to hear when they told me that she hadn't felt anything, wouldn't have known what happened to her. I really didn't want to know. I'd asked Bill about her when I'd woken up, had he met her, I was sure she'd been in. Wasn't she great I'd grinned at him, see, I didn't need to go home because Rosie would look after me, I had my very own private healer. Bill had held it together well, considering. Had I been in his position, watching him wax lyrical over a dead woman, I think I might have lost it, but he didn't. He told me gently, patting my arm, he probably expected me to freak out, but I hadn't. I'd just laid there, stunned.

Back at home he never told anyone that a girl I'd been seeing had been killed in the same accident that had injured me, he said that was up to me. I didn't see the point really in telling anyone, and certainly not what had transpired that morning. I was nineteen, just fallen in love and just had it all go wrong, I wasn't telling anyone. But the notion that she couldn't have gone so suddenly, so completely, bothered me intensely. I knew I had to get back to Romania to make sure, to try and find out if _anything_ was left. Maybe because she'd died so suddenly she would have a ghost, like the ones at Hogwarts. Maybe it was a mistake and it wasn't really her after all, there must be loads of healers that secreted themselves in the sluice for a sneaky smoke. A lot of maybes that sure as hell couldn't be answered in England, so I come back here to find some answers. Instead I'd found the person I had been before I met Rosie, I found me again. I wasn't sworn off love because she had died, I'd never been that into it in the first place, and neither had Rosie. We were very similar and somehow managed to take a natural friendship one step up. Sex had seemed like a natural progression, not the end of the road. My relationship with Rosie has shown me that sex can be a very natural part of a friendship between a man and a woman, as long as everyone knows where they stand.

XXXXxxxx0000xxxxXXXX

I still had a few questions though, like where was she? I didn't believe that she was just gone, just like that. But she was and I was getting on with things and moving on. I searched every day for some kind of sign from her, just a small subtle one that would tell me she was ok, that she had moved on like I had. I'd heard that sometimes those who had lost someone close saw signs from the departed. I was staring to wonder if it was just wishful thinking, grief induced wanting. I could read anything into a lot of the things I saw in the months after Rosie died. Like the unicorn I saw once on a trip back home, her favourite animal. Like finding an injured rabbit whilst hunting down a dragon and nursing it back to health, a reference to Lugs maybe. But these things probably would have happened anyway and I've always been more of a realist than a dreamer, so I dismissed them. Finally being happy that because she wasn't bugging me from the afterlife, it meant that she was ok.

I did miss her though, a lot. I wondered sometimes if I'd confused a great friendship with those fantastic benefits with love. What did I know about love? I'd never believed in it, and I didn't really believe in it now. I was at a loss to explain what happened that morning between Rosie and me, had I said that I loved her in the hope that I would regain the upper hand in the relationship? I don't know, I honestly don't know what my motives were. We often niggled and teased each other anyway, as friends do, struggling for power over the other. Was that why I had done it? So I had some power over her? I had been smitten, that was true. I loved spending my time with her, and sex with her had been so good, so easy and uncomplicated that I'd not felt the need to look elsewhere. She never put pressure on me to commit and I didn't with her. Was it just a really close friendship? Did I love her as a friend or had I been in love with her? Would I have reacted the same way if Rute had died? Apart from the sexual attraction, my feelings for them were very similar. I didn't know, and wasn't ever likely to, given that she'd died before we could work it out. I didn't worry about it either, what had happened had happened, and I missed Rosie every day but I just got on a dealt with it. I love my life, the dragons, the companionship of people who see life the way I do and the occasional crossing of paths with a lovely lady to settle my baser instincts. No, I definitely prefer dragons to girls, any day. In fact I think I prefer dragons to anything.


	5. Epilogue

**Reality - Epilogue.**

_Fifteen years later_

I sighed at mum's question. It was the standard one that popped up at least once every time I visited home, and although it slightly annoyed me, I understood what drove my mum when she asked it. She needed all her kids sorted in their lives, settled and happy. She didn't understand that what had made her and dad so happy, what had made the others happy too, a marriage, true love and a family, just didn't appeal to me. I am happy, with my dragons, truly happy, but mum just couldn't see it. She obviously thought that I hadn't heard her because she asked again.

"I said Charlie" slightly annoyed tone "When are you going to bring a nice girl home for me to meet?"

"Terrorise more like" Ron snorted with laughter, cutting it off abruptly as she glared at him.

"I don't know mum" I shrugged.

"You are thirty four you know, time is ticking away" she put her head on one side in a way I recognised only too well "Or would it be a nice boy? We won't discriminate you know, I just want you to be happy" Here we go again, not married must be gay.

"Not gay mum" I said, realising my voice was bored now.

"Then?" she left the word hanging in the air between us, I knew from experience that explaining that I am happy, that my life made me happy would do me no good.

"Just never met the right one I suppose" I shrugged.

"Do you even try?" she demanded, virtually accusing me of only remaining stubbornly unmarried and childless to spite her "I just worry that you are lonely, I'm a mother of six boys, I know that men have needs, I'm not a prude"

"I do ok for myself" I said, disgusted that my mother was interested in my sex life "And anyway, I don't want to discuss my sex life at the dinner table, especially with you" It was enough to put me off my food, and that really was something.

"Fine!" she said, her hands up in a gesture of defeat that I knew was false, this subject was something she just couldn't leave alone.

"Anyway, now we have finished I've brought you all a present" I said, looking up as the plates started to clear themselves with a wave of Ginny's wand. This was a tradition that had started when I first went to Romania, Ginny had demanded a present from when I came back the first time, and I'd brought everyone a present back. Just a small nick nack, but it became Weasley family ritual, and with each new arrival the present number increased.

I grabbed my bag and started dishing the goods out, like I said, little things that were really just a token. Miniature bottles of assorted booze for the blokes, chocolate or the homemade Romanian jewellery for the women and girls and perfume for mum. I'd got round everyone and started to close my bag when Ginny made an indignant coughing sound.

"Didn't I?" I said confused, I remembered buying her a small box of chocolates, yet she wasn't eating them (Ginny has the least patience of all of us) so I must have missed them in the bag. I started ferreting in the bag again, only feeling my clothes and other stuff I'd brought for the short visit, I tipped the bag upside down and shook it, looking into the now empty space for inspiration, dismayed that of everyone, I'd left Ginny's behind. She'd started all this and I loved her fiercely, had threatened Harry that Voldemort and a band of Death Eaters would seem like a picnic if he _ever_ hurt my baby sister. It was lucky Ginny had picked Harry because I seriously doubt anyone else could have stood the repeated threats on his nether regions from a riled brother every time they had a tiff, and I doubt I could have thought anyone was good enough for her, but Harry was Harry Potter and if anyone could be, it was him.

I rifled through the clothes and bits now on the table, knowing that I'd left them behind, and feeling awful and a bit scared if I'm truthful. Ginny had a wicked aim with her knee, even now. I picked up a pair of jeans and saw something glitter as I moved them. Reaching my hand out I clasped the necklace I'd bought for Rosie, so many years ago.

I held it in my palm, as the unicorn tossed his head, smiling slightly. I'd carried it everywhere with me at first, after Rosie had died, but I hadn't thought about it for years. If I'd been asked, I couldn't have definitely said where it was, yet it had turned up here, at this moment. I held it out to Ginny, watching her take it cautiously. I could see from the look on her face that she realised this was not the usual type of gift I'd give her.

"Charlie it's…beautiful" she said quietly "You bought this for me?"

"No" I replied "I got it for a real good friend of mine, years ago" I explained "I never got to give it to her because she died in that accident when I was badly injured, about two years after I went there"

Bill gave me a long look, but I shrugged it off. He was even worse now a husband and a father, romantic and sappy, and almost nagged me as much as mum about getting myself a 'good woman'.

"We were close and I've kept it all these years, but I think that it showing up here, like this, means that you should have it. Are you offended?"

"No" she had an odd look on her face "It must mean a lot to you, I don't know what I am, but I'm not offended"

"Good" I said, stuffing my things back in the bag.

"Did you love her?" Ginny asked, I hadn't realised the table had gone so quiet until she spoke.

"Yeah" I said "And I still miss her, she was a great friend" I hoped they would leave it alone now, but really I should have known better.

"Is that it?" Mum's eyes were bright with unshed tears "Why you didn't marry, was she the one? Oh Charlie!" she finished on a wail.

"No, that's not it mum. We were really close, but I don't think it would have worked out like that. She was very special to me but we weren't going to do the whole settling down thing" I realised that was what I believed, I'd often thought about what would have happened if Rosie hadn't died, and I think we would have carried on just the way we were, neither of us had wanted more than what we had. Of course we loved each other, but ultimately, I think we were too selfish to commit to a full life together forever. She had been a one off, I had fallen for her and her for me, but I think only because we met each others needs and we shared an ideal.

I also realised that I was probably now viewed with pity, that everyone thought that because of this terrible tragedy, I could never love again. Well I suppose, at least the questions about my sex life would stop, mum would now devote her energies into healing me of my pain and making me move on. I'd done that years ago, but it would make a change.

I stood outside much later, smoking a cigarette and looking up at the sky. I smiled, for all the time I'd longed for a sign from Rosie to tell me she was ok, none had come.

"Just like you" I whispered to her "All on your own bloody terms, but thanks, better late than never and it's nice to know that you are still around sometimes"

I crushed out my cigarette and headed back into the house, I was going to tell them all about my life, the family I had in Romania. About the things that made me happy – Dragons.


End file.
